New Year, New Who?
Carol-Ann Reid, life coach and mental health advocate, shares her tips on how to become the best version of yourself this decade without the risk of self-sabotage.
We see it every year, the ‘New Year, New Me’ hype! But is it something we should be striving for? Or do we risk putting ourselves under too much pressure, which can then cause the dreaded self-sabotage and comparison?
I believe when it comes to setting goals and resolutions it is important to check in with your values first, before committing to any half marathons or volunteering at the local book club.
Why? Because your time is so precious, especially when you throw a career, family or life in general in the mix. It’s vital to know that what you are committing your time and energy to in 2020, is going to benefit you and be enjoyable.
Your values are things that you believe are important in the way you live and work. When areas of your life are aligned to your values, you tend to feel happy, grounded and fulfilled. When areas of your life are not aligned to your values, you will feel it from within, you tend to feel an inner conflict that you can’t always put your finger on. You just know that something isn’t quite right. It can leave you feeling depleted and often self-sabotage creeps in.
So before you beat yourself up for not striving for that ‘New Year, New Me’ vibe or maybe you’ve lost your way a little with a goal you set yourself, check in with your values first and make sure that they align with any goal or resolution you set yourself moving forward into the year.
I recommend finding a quiet, relaxing spot in the house (or lock yourself in the bathroom for 10 minutes on your own, don’t worry we’ve all done it!) and begin making a list of what is important to you. See if you can get at least 10 things down. Some common values are:
Security, family, freedom, comfort, routine, health, fun, faith, connection, love, respect, loyalty, adventure, recognition…the list is endless and you will find hundreds of examples online should you need additional prompts.
Once you have your list of around 10 values, number your top 5 in order of importance. Take a moment to re-read them, let go of any pressure you may put on yourself to make them perfect, values often change as we go through our life!
Once you have your top 5 values listed, make a note of them and keep them in a safe place or even in your notes on your phone.
When it comes to setting future goals, resolutions or even making important life decisions, you can whip these out and ask yourself “does this xyz align with my values?”. If so, fantastic! You know that the process and experience you’ll have along the way to achieving your goal or desired outcome will leave you feeling happy, aligned and no doubt fulfilled.
If the answer is no, it does not align with your values or they clash, you can simply re-adjust your goal or desired outcome to something that does align with your values. What makes one person tick, won’t necessarily make another. Be okay with letting go of what other people are doing and focus on your own journey this year.
This values exercise is a simple yet powerful way to ensure that you are starting 2020 off in the best way possible…you know even more about who you are and what drives you.
If you’d like to delve a little deeper into discovering who you are and the power of self-identity, you can find a free ‘Who Am I’ PDF resource to download and complete over on my website: https://carolannreid.com