As adults, we seem to go on a quest trying to find balance in life. But what is this blissful ‘balance’ we so long for?
When I was building my previous company, I was constantly working on finding the balance between my business, family life, being a wife, running the house, serving my clients, keeping fit and healthy, making myself available for new opportunities, managing finances and everything that comes in between.
In fact, let’s get real from the get-go…
I should have said that I was navigating my way through creating a business from scratch, checking in with family and making sure everyone was healthy, happy and all upcoming birthdays and celebrations were taken care of, keeping on top of a house and home office (thinking of Mrs Hinch every step of the way!) giving my everything to clients and making myself go to the gym when all I wanted to do was eat peanut butter out of the jar, attempting to navigate my way through spreadsheets and keep on top of personal and business accounts (cue major procrastination due to Excel allergy), spend time on my own wellbeing and everything that came in between.
I was spinning many plates, fearing that if I took my eyes off any of them, something would come crashing down. And it wouldn’t be pretty. I believed that when I ‘found’ this thing we call balance; all would be well. I looked outside of myself for this energetic treasure. Reading every book I could get my hands on that mentioned “how to create a better life and career balance”. It was getting frustrating and tiring.
Balance implies that you must shift energy from one side to another, like a seesaw. But this can lead you to feeling that if you put more into your home life, your work must suffer, and if you put more into your work life, your home life will suffer. I’m yet to meet someone who is giving their all to their adulting duties that say’s “I feel my life is very balanced”. Standing still with two feet firmly on the ground is balanced. Is that realistic when it comes to building a life and career you love? Will balance really bring you joy and fulfilment?
Life as an adult comes with responsibilities. We’re also aware that time is always of the essence as we watch the days roll into weeks, months roll into years. And here we are, fumbling around looking for this thing we call balance. It took me to get near burn-out before the realisation hit me. It’s not about finding balance; it’s about creating harmony.
Harmony is about you. It’s giving your energy and focus to what is important to you and ensuring it aligns highest with your values. This is when you feel the harmonious wave of presence and belonging wash over you. Ok, that sounded a little far-fetched, but you get my point.
Bringing yourself into harmony with all you have on your plates, will support you over in the coming months and busy festive season. You can feel your way through harmony. Stop and check in with how you are feeling during the day, with no judgment on yourself. Set small amounts of time aside to focus on you and your wellbeing, this will bring you so much more joy, energy and harmony than the quest for balance ever will.
Here are 3 steps to support you in welcoming more harmony into your every-day life:
1. Fill up your own cup
Even when it feels like you don’t have the time, make the time. Whether it’s 5 minutes or 50 minutes, do something that lights you up. It could be a cheeky 5 minute guided meditation on YouTube, whilst your sat in the car waiting to pick the kids up, put some feel good music on as you have a clear out of your wardrobe or indulging with your phone on silent. Doing something that gives you a few minutes out to re-set, will help you be much more productive, present and resilient.
2. Don’t be afraid to ask for help
Delegating small, seemingly insignificant tasks can help to free up your time and reserve energy. Let people around you know that you are on a journey to welcome more harmony into your life, and how much you appreciate their support and understanding.
3. Put the plates down
Know that the world will not come crumbling down around you if you put one or two spinning plates down for a short while, whilst you give your arms a rest. You are a human being, not a human doing. You will enjoy life much more when you give yourself permission to pause, breathe and re-set.